machines have noses?

They must, for what else would they turn up at my poor nickel?

Backing up: the candy vending machine in my building seems to only like the brand new coins. You know, the fancy ones with all the changes that make the older coins look like the poor cousin with the Salvation Army clothes. I mean, my 1986 nickel is a good nickel. It’s worth as much as those flashy nickels with their offset Jeffersons and history lesson backs. But at the apparently ancient age of 21 (hey, it’s old enough to go to drink!), it’s just not hip enough to get an almond Snickers. I put that stalwart five cent piece in three times. The damned machine spit it back out at me three times. Put in a nickel less than a two years old? Gobbled it right up.

I think I figured it out. The vending machine is a pedophile.

That’s just wrong.

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